Scott Adams, famous Dilbert cartoonist and author of “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still win Big, Kind of the Story of my Life” shares valuable insight about goals:
“To put it bluntly, goals are for losers.”
“Systems people succeed every time they apply their systems, in the sense that they did what they intended to do.”
If this is your approach, you are on the right path but will likely fail. You must add one of two components to the system or process recipe. The feelings and emotions attached to the system and process, or your emerging future identity.
If you don’t attach an emotion connected to your safety, or one related to your emerging identify, you will likely fail.
We continually read and view content where the creator shares their transformative journey. Then they share and launch into the “how” of their transformative journey.
Lack of Discipline to High Discipline Example:
Go to bed at same time.
Get up at same time.
Make Bed.
Drink Water.
Download app and track macros and calories.
Exercise.
Reduce Alcohol.
Stop scrolling.
Result: Lose weight feel better.
Reactor to Observer Example:
Identify those subjects I suffer cognitive dissonance.
Identify people in my life that trigger quick responses, and judgements.
Identify those instances where I tell myself I’ve been victimized by something outside of me.
Identify when I judge others on the media I consume.
Breath, don’t react.
Ask:
- Do I have a blind spot, or am I mostly blind?
- Because people are reasons not labels, what could explain the behavior I’m observing?
- Why does it feel good to react? Is it a sense of superiority or inferiority?
Result: increased curiosity, patience and love for all.
In these two examples, dig deeper and inquire how the system or process cookbook is attached to a safety, or an emerging future identity goal.
For the discipline example: listen for the reason why they had to change their behavior. If my neighbor Jeremy shared his health discipline story – it was because he was diagnosed as a pre-diabetic. He knew about tactics for better health but chose to not act until this diagnosis made him unsafe. Only then did he take on substantive changes.
In my career, I’ve counselled many reactionary leaders. It simply feels good; they tell themselves they are running into a burning building and will save the day with quick action. Why: they want to tell themselves and others that they are a problem solver. This quick to act results in many missteps. As leaders we must recognize that before solving an alleged problem we need to gather information to determine the size and scope of the problem, then investigate. If it is a problem, then discover who can help me solve the problem. Not until the individual decides that they want to regard themselves as a fair, considerate and deliberate leader, can their tendency to react and seek quick fixes be cured. The emergence of a non-reactionary leader leads to calm and peace for themselves and all those who depend on them.
